Saving Anakin
by Jessica Capasso
Summary: Anakin realizes what he has done after the temple and runs away to Tatooine where he is found by Obi-Wan. One Shot. Rating for mentions of violence.


A/N: Here is my take on what would have happened if Anakin had regained his concience before he went to Mustafar

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Obi-Wan arrived on Tatooine with two small babies in his arms. It broke his heart to give away Anakin's children, but after what he did in the Jedi Temple, killing all those younglings, even if Anakin could be found he could never have either of his children. It was too dangerous. These children were their last hope. Of course they once said that about Anakin as well, but everyone knows that once you turn to the Dark Side there is no coming back. But...what if they were wrong? Anakin was always one to do the impossible. Oh well, It was pointless to speculate. Anakin was in hiding and the Force knows he would never willingly come back to this planet even to hide. He shook himself from his thoughts as he came upon the Lars farm.

Owen came out when he heard the landspeeder approach. "I'm so glad you're here Obi-Wan. I don't know what to do about Anakin. He doesn't eat or sleep, he won't talk to anyone, I hear him sobbing and even vomiting all hours of the night. He leaves all day to work on building a hut in the cliffs and won't even let anyone help him."

Obi-Wan was definitely concerned. The behavior Owen was describing was disturbing to say the least. Maybe there was a chance to bring Anakin back, but it was a small chance, and would never be possible if there were more Jedi in the universe, but they needed everyone they could get. Obi-Wan had to try, but he couldn't risk the child. "Owen, take Beru and these children and go to Anchorage for a few days. Here is a credit chip that you can use. There is more than enough there. Don't come back until I come for you. If I don't you must get off Tatooine."

Owen did as he was told. When they were out of sight Obi-Wan went to find Anakin. He didn't want to reach out with the Force to find him and alert him to his presence. Turned out he didn't need to. As soon as he stepped inside he could hear the uncontrollable sobbing. He opened the door to find Anakin curled into a corner like he was trying to disappear. He didn't seem to notice Obi-Wan's entrance. That more than anything else spoke of his frame of mind. In someone like Anakin, letting your guard down enough that you don't notice something like that speaks of nothing less than the loss of the will to live. If he didn't have the Force in him he would probably have died just like Padme had. Obi-Wan was more sure than ever that Anakin could be saved. "Anakin," Obi-Wan called softly. Anakin lifted his head slightly and looked up at his mentor. He reached for his lightsaber and tossed it to the older jedi. "I surrender"

Obi-Wan sighed and sat down across from Anakin. "I didn't come here to ask for your surrender. You're my brother Anakin. I want to know what happened. Why? How? I have to understand. For my own peace of mind." Anakin began to shut down and sob once more. "Please Ani just talk to me."

"I don't deserve a brother. I don't deserve a life, but the Force won't take me. I've asked. I've begged. But perhaps I don't deserve that either. What I deserve is to live out the rest of my life in isolation in this place."

"Perhaps, but your remorse entitles you something also. I don't know that I will ever forgive you for what you've done, but I at least owe it to you to hear you out. And you owe it to me to tell me. You owe me that much and more."

"You're right. I do owe it to you. You stood up for me. You were the only one who trusted me, who cared for me, even if you turned out to be wrong. The jedi were right to fear me, to distrust me, but you I owe the truth to." Anakin took a deep breath and began his story. "I found out that the chancellor was the sith lord. I went to tell the masters and they went to confront him. Master Windu ordered me to the temple to wait. He said that my relationship with the chancellor was dangerous. He was right. I followed anyway. Palpatine killed so many of them. Only he and Master Windu were left. Master Windu disarmed him and he began cowering in the corner begging for his life, but Master Windu said he was too powerful to keep alive. I told him that it wasn't the jedi way, the chancellor had to stand trial, but he insisted. He raised his arm to kill him and the chancellor looked at me and begged for help. Begged to not let Master Windu kill him. All I could think is that he was murdering an unarmed man and no matter what he did he deserved to stand trial so I disarmed Master Windu. As I moved to take the chancellor into custody he didn't seem feeble anymore and attacked Master Windu with sith lightning and threw him out the window. I couldn't believe what I'd done. I was numb. I couldn't think or feel and before I knew it I was kneeling before the chancellor pledging myself to him. He sent me to the temple to kill all of the jedi there, and my head was screaming not to do it, but my body seemed to move by itself. When I finished and looked around and saw all of the younglings laying there I lost it. I began vomiting. I had to get away. I didn't know why I did it, but I knew I couldn't be trusted. I didn't know where else to go so I came here. I was staying with Owen and Beru while I built my hut and planned to live in isolation from the rest of the world so I couldn't hurt anyone anymore."

Obi-Wan was shocked. Of all the things he expected this was not one of them. "Anakin, what happened with Master Windu was not your fault. You did wrong yes, but you didn't know. For all of the information you had you did the right thing. You just didn't have all of the information. I have always said that jedi needed to know more about the sith, but the council would never teach that until a jedi became a master. You didn't know all of the tricks, and he used you for his own ends. He used your light to bring you to darkness."

"Even if that were true, what about the younglings? What about all the jedi I killed. There is no excuse possible for that. There is no redemption, no coming back from that."

"I have a theory on that. You said that your mind was screaming at you to stop, but you had no control. Did you feel anger and hate that you couldn't explain? That seemed like it was coming both from you and outside you at the same time?" At Anakin's nod Obi-Wan looked almost afraid. "It has been two thousand years since there have been reports of a sith lord strong enough to take over a jedi's mind, but that is what this was. When a jedi's mind is at it's weakest, such as when you were in shock over what you had done, a strong enough sith can take over that mind. No one had ever broken it before though while the sith was living. What you did was horrible, and there would be many who would condemn you for it, but it was not you who did those things. Your body was not your own. Yes, you made mistakes, but you are not to blame."

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan and saw the truth in his eyes, but could not bring himself to let go of the guilt. "It was still my fault. It was still me who did those things. I have the memory, I feel the anger and hatred he gave me, I see their faces every time I close my eyes. The look of hurt and betrayal as they die. How can I ever live with that? How can I ever live with what I've done?"

At this point Obi-Wan couldn't stop his own tears. "That is the danger of the sith. Once they have you, you can't let go. You are the only person to ever breaking the mind hold so we are in uncharted territory here, but I would imagine that what you're feeling would be common. It is that pain and guilt that can pull you back to the dark. You have to accept that you were not at fault. You will always remember what happened. You will always feel remorse, but if you let the guilt control you then the darkness wins."

"What you say makes sense, but I don't know how."

"We will wait here a few days for things to die down and then we will go see Master Yoda. He can help you."

Anakin nodded and finally coming out of his guilt ridden haze he looked up sharply. "Padme! What must she think? I have to tell you master that Padme and I were married in secret. She was carrying my child. I have to know if she is alright. I know that I can't go to her. She would never want me now anyway, but she has to be alright, and my child too."

Obi-Wan wasn't sure what to say to Anakin here. If he told him that Padme died then it could send him back into the grief that he was just getting out of, but the children could save him from it. Could he put the children at risk though if Anakin could not be saved? Obi-Wan still didn't think it was right to forbid jedi love and families. Love is a powerful thing and can fight the darkness better than anything else the jedi have, but the rule was so old and so few thought like him. It wouldn't be possible to change it. Now though..."Anakin, I have long thought that the rule against jedi families was wrong, but it could not be changed. The rule was as old as the jedi and I never understood it. Neither did Qui-Gon. Perhaps that's something we can change. There are only the three of us left of the old jedi and Yoda is in isolation. I'm not even sure if I can find him again. Perhaps it would be best if we didn't look and began to rebuild the jedi here."

"I don't think I can rebuild anything right now. I am still afraid of myself. I can't even pick up my lightsaber."

"We have time Anakin. There are two children that were just born. Twins. It will be years before they are ready to begin training and if you still don't feel ready by then I will train them myself. I think it would be good for you to look after them with me in the meantime however. I will keep your lightsaber until we both think you are ready to have it back."

"I don't know that I can be trusted around children. I don't even know if I could look at children."

"I'm sure you can be trusted, but just in case that is why I'm keeping your lightsaber and I promise never to leave you alone with them until we both feel you are ready. You need to face yourself before you can move on. I expect you will be doing much meditating, but this will help you I think."

"Is that why you were here? Were these twins born here? I think we should leave them with their parents until they are older anyway. Taking infants from their parents is something I never could abide by in the order."

Obi-Wan sighed. It was now or never. "There is something you should know. The twins I speak of are your children. Padme was carrying twins. A girl and a boy. I brought them here to have Owen and Beru raise them because I didn't believe I could do it myself and Yoda was too old. I was going to live nearby and train them as they got older."

Anakin felt his chest constrict. He couldn't breathe. He knew the answer to his question, but he had to ask anyway. "Padme?"

"Died in childbirth. I'm sorry Anakin." Obi-Wan reached for his young friend as he collapsed. Once Anakin had regained his composure he said "The children need my now. I lost her and will always mourn her, but I still have my children."

Obi-Wan nodded sadly. 'You have finally learned to let go' He thought to himself with a saddened pride.

"I had already purchased a home here before I brought the children to Owen and Beru. We can collect the children from them in Anchorhead tomorrow. Now you need to eat something and then get some sleep. You look like hell." Anakin looked resistant, but he complied with orders. He still couldn't sleep well. He still saw the faces of the younglings in his dreams, but Obi-Wan had helped.

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A/N: If there is enough interest I will consider doing a sequel, but if not this will remain a one-shot.

For those of you who think Anakin is OOC here, I think of it this way. Anakin has always had a big heart and anyone with a big heart would feel that way after killing hundreds of children who trusted him and looked up to him in cold blood.


End file.
